I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I want a musical about memes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
