never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize