I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
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