dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
