so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
