He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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