what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
