This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
