Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
