I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
These tits shall not be calmed
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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