think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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