Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
