She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
