I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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