we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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