In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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