No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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