Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
