I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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