I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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