So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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