Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
