come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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