She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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