I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Randomize
