He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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