my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its not stalking. its research.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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