If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Houston, we have a blender
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
