make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
this boner is exhausting
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
