I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I touched a dick in church today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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