the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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