I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
did i walk over a car last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
