True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
