and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
