I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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