are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
