Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
