If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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