I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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