Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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