it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
