i think my tv is drunk
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
