See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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