That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
