Non-Jews are for practice
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
