Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
