he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
