oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
