He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
