Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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