Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
